T-minus 3 days

I am in the midst of freaking out packing. For traveling ease and economic motivation I’ve decided to put my life in one checked bag and one carry on. I have no doubt of my capability to accomplish the task; however the act of choosing a wardrobe for the move has stifled my efforts a bit.  For my job ripped jeans and shorts don’t fly but business casual is a tad excessive. Fortunately that leaves a lot of room for creativity and personality. Unfortunately I am paralyzed by options.

In a way moving, be it to a new school, college, or a new job tends to lend itself to reinvention and I tend to ignore that opportunity. I still wear t-shirts I’ve had since I was eleven (albeit to work out or to sleep in) but I do actually still wear band shirts from the 7^th grade.  That’s a full decade. I don’t give up on my shoes until the holes have worn through layers of ducktape. I just like my stuff. This makes shopping particularly difficult (when I finally do go) because I’m searching for replicas of things that have been out of the stores for several seasons.

But let me go back to my original reasoning for my one bag policy: traveling ease and economic motivation aka being frugal and low maintenance. So when it comes to my own style, I like fashion, but typically not enough to infringe on those values.  That being said, I still have way too many clothes to bring with me and I need to narrow it down.

When I visited Spain last spring, it seemed everyone walked out of fashion magazines. My true dilemma is how much should I try to culturally assimilate? Part of my job description is being American/myself. Clothing choice is a form of self-expression. Yet my introverted self doesn’t like to stick out. So do I just leave my comfort clothes at home and pack some dresses? <groan> I really don’t want to.  Looking like you came out of a magazine requires effort, I don’t like effort. I am 22 and I don’t wear make-up and still can’t walk in heels; that is how much I don’t like effort, though heels are just impractical shoes in general.

One way of looking at it is upping the ante is just another symptom of the jump from college student to semi-professional lifestyle. But when that jump includes moving across the ocean and speaking another language, (mental) comfort rises as a priority. Basically anytime I have to care what I look like, there’s a level of anxiety of things fitting/covering/flattering. Call it vanity, but dressing up for me (anything not jeans and a t-shirt) becomes this big deal.  I don’t do it often it so it doesn’t feel natural, instead I feel like an awkward imposter or like in Boy Meets World when Cory dresses up like a girl. [1:47- 3:01]

I should just embrace the awkward.
It’ll be character building.
Time to pack!